dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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