NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize