How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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