is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
