There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
