come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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