i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize