So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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