Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?