It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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