that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
