her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
