I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i can juggle bunnies
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround