i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness