we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..