Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.