Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.