READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
