piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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