In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
