3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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