Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
