Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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