you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
