Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm always down for nudity.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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