"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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