You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
