He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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