Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize