HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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