is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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