the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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