never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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