Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
