I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
