Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
