last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
