discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
