I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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