just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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