Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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