I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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