Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
