You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
