they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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