Define "chronic" masturbator.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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