Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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