You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize