i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
