Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
