HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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