ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
