so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize