yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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