I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
