I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he puts the penis in happiness.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
