I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
