my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
