We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
