Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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